Visit to his grave
by Nat-loves-the-connors
Summary: Michelle decides to take Ryan and visit her former Lover's, Ryan's Fathers, grave.


There's not much mention about Michelle's former lover Dean. I find it hard to believe that because he is dead Michelle wouldn't feel the need to think about him anymore. So this is a saddened moment in Michelle and Ryan's life that I have decided to write about. Although there isn't a lot about Dean, I'm presuming for the fic's sake that Dean was about 18 when Ryan was born, making him 27 at the time of death.

Disclaimer: I do not own coronation street or any of the characters portrayed in this fic.

_**Visit to his grave.**_

It was 9 in the morning. Michelle Connor was already awake. She was downstairs in the kitchen singing and making breakfast, she looked like an ordinary happy woman living another day in her life. She was singing softly to some song on the radio, any minute the kids would be down wanting breakfast. Little Amy came down first clutching her Teddy bear. Michelle smiled at her, her eyes shining with happiness. However, if you looked closely, you'll see they held a saddened secret behind them.

***

Michelle went upstairs and knocked on her son's bedroom door. There came no answer, so she let herself in. He was fast asleep, chest rising and falling with steady even breaths. She regretted having to wake him up, today was going to be a difficult day for him, for both of them really.

"Are you okay?" She asked when he came downstairs fully dressed and ready to go. He didn't say anything back he just nodded. She tried to make him have something to eat before they set off, but after ten minutes it seemed that he wasn't capable of eating much.

Ryan was still quiet in the car. Michelle knew how hard this day would turn out to be for him. The graveyard wasn't far away. A twenty minute drive if that. It was strange looking back on the old streets, remembering that this was where they used to live. Michelle turned round from the front of the car to glance at Ryan. He had his forehead resting against the car window, his pale face expressionless. Michelle reached round and gently placed her hand on his knee, in attempt to comfort him somehow.

It was a freezing cold morning, the wind blew leaves around their ankles as they walked through the metal gates which lead them into the graveyard.

"It's been so long, I've forgotten where abouts he is" Ryan said, speaking for the first time. His voice sounded hoarse like he was recovering from a bad cold. Michelle placed her arm round his shoulders and guided him down the centre; she remembered where abouts he was.

"He's right here darling" Michelle Whispered, kneeling down and arranging the flowers she had brought. Michelle gazed at the grave with heartbreak in her eyes. The love of her life lay just beneath them. Whether he knew she was there with their son or not, she didn't know. She would only know when the time came for her to be with him at last. She looked over at Ryan, who was sat looking at the grave with a pained look on his face. He turned his back on both Michelle and Dean and looked to the floor, his shoulders shaking.

"Ryan...?" Michelle went over to him. He tried to answer her, but his emotion took over and he let out a wracking sob. Michelle knelt down next to him, not bothering that the ground wasn't exactly clean. She placed her arms firmly around him and pulled him against her. He fell against her gratefully, sobbing uncontrollably. The sound went through Michelle like physical pain. Her own eyes filled up but she blinked them back, willing to be strong for her son. It made her heart break to know how much he was hurting and knowing she couldn't do anything to make it stop.

"It's okay darling, we're both here, Shh" She consoled, lightly stroking his hair. Ryan was too choked up to answer, he willed the dull ache in his heart to stop hurting, though it would never fully cease.

The tears bubbled up once more in Michelle's eyes and she allowed them to spill over, crying silently. Ryan looked at her, his own face glazed with tears. He saw the pain he felt reflected in his mum's face and hugged her. He rubbed her back gently, trying to comfort her and be there the way she always was for him.

"Come on baby, your freezing" She whispered to him, standing up. He got up and stumbled, Michelle grasped his arm, steadying him. She went over and kissed the photo on the grave, resting her hand on the head stone.

"I love you" She whispered into the air, and then pulled herself away.

Steve was waiting for them in his car just outside the gates. When he saw them approaching, he got out and hugged Michelle affectionately. He put a hand on Ryan's shoulder and smiled sympathetically.

"Come on, let's get you both home"

Michelle sat in the back with Ryan on the journey back. She sat on the middle seat so she could be nearer to him. He placed his arm round her and she leant against him, sighing. Ryan rested his chin on the top of her head, feeling his eyelids grow heavy.

***

Ryan was still worryingly quiet when they got home, he trudged upstairs and flopped on his bed. Michelle went up, bringing him a drink, but he was asleep. She sighed and set the drink on the table. She sat on the edge of the bed however the movement had caused him to stir.

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?" He mumbled sleepily.

"What's wrong? I'm worried about you."

"I really miss him, mum. Even though it happened all that time ago. I look at you and you seem to be coping so well...and I'm just...weak." He confessed to her, feeling embarrassed that it had all come out in one big rush. Michelle looked at him sadly.

"You really think that makes you weak? It doesn't Rye, it just makes you human."

He turned back round to face her and smiled, even though it was a small saddened smile. Michelle leaned back next to him, stroking his cheek tenderly. Ryan sank back down in his pillows and closed his eyes, sighing contently.

"I love you" Michelle whispered, kissing his head lightly.

"Love you too, mum" he mumbled sleepily. Overwhelmed with tiredness, Michelle lay back and draped her arm over him.

Steve walked by and noticed the bedroom door was half open. He peered in where Michelle and Ryan were laid asleep in each other's arms looking peaceful. Smiling to himself, he closed the door fully and crept back downstairs.

*Thank you for taking your time to read. It is very much appreciated!*


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